Arm yourself with knowledge and you'll do okay:
1. A pregnancy really lasts 10 months: You really carry around the baby for 10 months because in reality once the 9th month comes up, it doesn't mean that you're done, you still have to wait the full month, so in my book that's 10 months. I learned this the hard way...
2. The pre-pregnancy classes are only a "who's suffering more" contest: Expect to show up and be surrounded by women who are farther along than you (and thus superior to you), women who "pretend" they are farther along than they actually are ("Oh my doctor says I'm only 6 weeks but my stomach is so big I must be at least 6 months"... to which you can clearly see she's still a size 2 with no belly to speak of), and the women who carried their baby uphill both ways in the snow with no shoes with a dog chasing them all the time (for fun, just keep upping the ante until they say something really off the wall like "I carried 12 children at once, had them in the bathtub at home and then cooked dinner afterwards"... it's like a game!).
3. No one really wants to see a baby being born: Let's face it, watching a baby being born is probably not at the top of the list for what most people want to see in their life, the same goes for taking video of this (who are these people anyway?) as well as photos.
4. The "professional" hospital baby pictures will come out ugly: These will probably be some of the most horrible photos taken, and expect to be "pressured" into buying a $200 4x5 photo. And do not under any circumstances give them your email address because you will be bombarded with requests to buy your "beautiful" first baby pictures until Jr. has gone off to college. This is what digital cameras are for.
5. You will not sleep in the hospital (nor will your significant other): Hospitals are not made for rest and relaxation; they are made for torturing you with a needle in your arm, a strap that constantly checks the blood pressure from your arm, nurses who walk in every 15 minutes and a weird person that wanders around the halls asking if you want booties for your baby (after you've already been asked like 5 times before).
1. A pregnancy really lasts 10 months: You really carry around the baby for 10 months because in reality once the 9th month comes up, it doesn't mean that you're done, you still have to wait the full month, so in my book that's 10 months. I learned this the hard way...
2. The pre-pregnancy classes are only a "who's suffering more" contest: Expect to show up and be surrounded by women who are farther along than you (and thus superior to you), women who "pretend" they are farther along than they actually are ("Oh my doctor says I'm only 6 weeks but my stomach is so big I must be at least 6 months"... to which you can clearly see she's still a size 2 with no belly to speak of), and the women who carried their baby uphill both ways in the snow with no shoes with a dog chasing them all the time (for fun, just keep upping the ante until they say something really off the wall like "I carried 12 children at once, had them in the bathtub at home and then cooked dinner afterwards"... it's like a game!).
3. No one really wants to see a baby being born: Let's face it, watching a baby being born is probably not at the top of the list for what most people want to see in their life, the same goes for taking video of this (who are these people anyway?) as well as photos.
4. The "professional" hospital baby pictures will come out ugly: These will probably be some of the most horrible photos taken, and expect to be "pressured" into buying a $200 4x5 photo. And do not under any circumstances give them your email address because you will be bombarded with requests to buy your "beautiful" first baby pictures until Jr. has gone off to college. This is what digital cameras are for.
5. You will not sleep in the hospital (nor will your significant other): Hospitals are not made for rest and relaxation; they are made for torturing you with a needle in your arm, a strap that constantly checks the blood pressure from your arm, nurses who walk in every 15 minutes and a weird person that wanders around the halls asking if you want booties for your baby (after you've already been asked like 5 times before).
RSS Feed